Friday, November 13, 2009

Seven Daughters and Seven Sons - Part 1 Discussion

As I read this section, it reminded me that my roommate friend dreamed of making this book into a movie. Even though the book starts out kind of slow, it's beginning to pick up and the plot thickens.

This section has some lines in it that impress me as being quite wise. One of them is in the first paragraph of Buran's account: "What we imagine to be a blessing can actually be a curse, and what we suppose to be a curse may blossom into a blessing." Have you had any experiences where this has been the case?

I really admire Buran's parents. Her father seems like a really sweet guy, especially in his graciousness of having to put up with his snotty brother practically every day. I imagine her mother to be like Golda, the matriarch in Fiddler on the Roof. What do you think of the mother's saying, "Each of us has a place, and if we fall out of it, the world will turn upside down" (p. 33 of my book). Does she make a good point, or is she being a little close-minded? Will Buran prove her wrong? Exactly what is our "place?"

One of my favorite secondary characters is Gindar the Chief. He's just cool.

For this next week, read Part 2 and we'll open the discussion for it on November 20th.

7 comments:

Istari the Angel said...

I'm absolutely loving this book thus far, I zipped right through Part 1 and had to exercise a lot of self control to keep from finishing the book that afternoon. Buran impresses me, she's got guts and brains in a culture where her sisters show that the only important things are learning domestic skills and worrying about how you look to attract a good man. Buran's parents amused me. Her dad gets mad props for giving her idea a chance against all social norms and all reason, but he's a bit of a dreamer. The uncle and all his kids made me angry, and I wouldn't have lasted long in this society, judging by my reaction to just reading about it. I wanted to punch him and all the sons and tell them to go suck on it and learn some manners. I also liked the Chief, he knows how to think outside the box, and is quite shrewd.

The quotes that you mentioned are quite inspiring. Offhand I can't think of any occurrences in my life that are described by the first one, but I'm also not operating on a full brain, thanks to a head cold and medicine at the moment. The mom's quote is easier for me, because I believe we all do have a place, but it's not always the place we think it will be, nor is it the place anyone else may want us to occupy. It's all about following your own path and what you believe is right. Even if you think sometimes you made a mistake along the way, it's still the right path, because it shapes you into the person you're meant to be, and prepares you for the next set of struggles along the way.

Ruth said...

I'm so glad you're enjoying the book. I want so bad to write something in response to part of your comment, but it's a spoiler. So I won't.

I agree with you about our places. It's interesting the way our lives work out and the paths we take to get where we are. Sometimes I wonder what my teenage self would think about my life now, as my future was something I would have given just about anything to know about.

Since I posted, I've thought of an occasion in my life that seemed to be a major challenge (curse), but ended up being a blessing: When I was 13 my father was laid off. My mother was a stay-at-home-mom, and I was the oldest of 5 kids. It was a major struggle for my family and times were really hard. But it's made me who I am and helped me appreciate frugality, even if I'm not that great at practicing it. But I'm learning how to do it now but with a family of my own. Knowing that my parents made it throught that difficult time it inspires me.

This may be a bit of stretch, but one time where a blessing may have been a curse was also around that time of my life. I'd made all A's all throught eighth grade and as such was feeling pretty good about myself. Entered high school and had a terrible adjustment. My grades suffered A LOT, and I found out that my self-esteem (I now consider self-esteem to be a farce, but that's a whole different discussion), was very dependent on my grades. If I didn't make good grades, who was I? So as nice as it was to make good grades, it was a "curse" in that it became an unstable foundation on which to base my identity.

Lynnette said...

I'm really enjoying the book thus far. I'm fascinated studying other cultures and examining how they may or may not differ from my own experience. The theme of "each of us has a place" runs through all cultures, and I can certainly relate to Buran's mother and her point of view on this. Although it may be necessary for someone to "fall our of their place" in society in order for them to feel true to themselves, it definitely always makes the world around them turn upside down. Personally, I'm like most of the masses of society and feel best when I'm in my so-called place, but I deeply admire those like Buran who can risk everything to do what they feel is right.

I really admired Buran's father as well, because even though he is a stupid dreamer, he recognizes the qualities in Buran that make her unique. He educates her and treats her differently from her sisters, thus preparing her for the journey she takes.

Ruth, I liked the quotes you highlighted and the examples you shared from your own life. I especially like the one about blessings and curses. When I read that I thought about it in general terms - so often the things men seek after - money, power, etc. - are the very things that, once obtained, curse them. Along with that, I think the difficult things in life are often the greatest blessings because they help us learn and grow and realize what things matter most. I once heard someone say, "Don't miss God's blessings just because they don't come in the package you expect." (Or something along those lines.) I think of that often and I think it relates to the discussion here.

Can't wait to read more!

Kate said...

I am really enjoying this book, and like Angela, I had to restrain myself from zipping on through it to the end. :)

I am also really enjoying this discussion about what a person's place is and about blessings and curses. I haven't posted anything myself yet, because I've been thinking about what has already been contributed.

I feel similarly as Lynnette about how feeling best when I'm in my 'so-called place' as well. I'm not much of a risk-taker, yet I enjoy reading about those who are, like Buran. So, I can appreciate vicariously the risks that they take to find the place that is right for them.

As for blessings and curses, that part of the book really struck me, too. The naive person might want to never have any challenges in her life, to have everything handed to her or to have everything come easily to her. But, it's through challenges and hard work that we become the people that we are, and if you're never challenged, you never grow. That's not to say I welcome a trial with open arms when it comes my way, but I do appreciate the learning experience that it affords me. I like the examples that Ruth shared from her own life (and I'm interested to hear your thoughts on self-esteem, Ruth, so maybe we'll have to discuss this via email; when I was in high school, it was self-esteem this and self-esteem that and my mother thought it was a lot of ridiculous nonsense :D ). One of the more recent experiences that I had was when I was in the hospital last May. I never want to go through that again. Never ever. But, that experience did show me that I can be strong. I tend to be a hypochondriac, and I worry all the time about such ridiculous stuff. But, when the worse happened (well, one of the worse things that could happen), I found that I had the strength to deal with it, and that has given me more confidence in myself, and while I still worry, I've found an increased ability to recognize when I'm going overboard and be able to step back and let life take me where it will without worrying about it all the time. :)

Ruth said...

Such wonderful comments! I love Lynnette's quote about blessings coming in unusual packages. It made me smile.

I too don't exactly search out challenges in life, and while they may not be fun while going through them, they're very interesting to look back on as we internalize what they taught us. Of course, we have to be willing to learn from them, and I think that is also a skill that needs to be developed. I'm sure we've heard of people who just end up bitter as a result of challenges in life.

A few days after I wrote this post, I read something in a publication printed by my church that fit right in with our blessings and curses discussion. Even though I don't know the religious beliefs of most of this reading group's members, I hope no one minds if I share it. "Burdens provide opportunites to pracice virtues that contribute to eventual perfection. They invite us to 'yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and [put] off the natural man and [become] a saint throught he atonement of Christ the Lord, and [become] as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.' Thus burdens become blessings, though often such blessings are well disguised and may require time, effort, and faith to accept and understand."

Havilah said...

Ahhh! I accidentally read the whole book. I'm not very good at self-control when it comes to reading a good story. I won't give anything away, I promise!

As for the phrase about blessings actually being curses and curses becoming blessings, I have thought about it a lot. I think it's all in the eye of the beholder. While Buran's neighbors all believed her father was cursed because he had 7 daughters, he never once complained about it or talked of it being a curse. He always would mention how much he loved his daughters. It seems we cannot judge other people's circumstances and decide whether they are curses or blessings.

I also liked the mother's saying "Each of us has a place, and if we fall out of it, the world will turn upside down." To me it seems that that sentence is incomplete though. Because it is true that each of us does have a place, but it is also true that we each have the ability to choose whether or not we fall out of it, and it is also true that our world might seem to have turned upside down if we fall out of our places, but it forgets to mention that an upside down world can be turned right side up again. Buran chose to fall out of her place and it seems that hard times are coming for her. I guess we'll have to finish the story to see if she can turn her upside down world right side up again.

History is full of people who fell out of their places. It seems to me that the most wonderful advances in society were started by people who fell out of their places. I don't think all of us are meant to fall our of our places (chaos would ensue) but we certainly shouldn't discourage those who have the guts to do so.

Ghostlibrarian said...

Sorry I'm so late to the party. I'm loving the book and thought I'd comment anyway.

I was amazed at Buran's courage. Maybe I'm just a terrible pessimist but it seemed to me that her trip was exceedingly dangerous, even more so than the book implied.

Risk taking comes in various forms. I think sometimes I'm willing to take risks, emotionally or intellectually but other times I'm not. For instance, I'm not much of a physical or social risk taker. The beauty of Buran is that she takes every risk. Her courage is phenomenal.

I agree about a curse being a blessing and a blessing being a curse but can't think of any examples from my own life at the moment.

I've read the next section so I'll try to read and comment there later tonight.